A lot of people get married, and it is a lot. I had never been one of those girls that dreamt of her day and the big white dress. I always knew I would meet the one and get married one day (I think it was all of the Disney that I watched when I was younger) but I didn’t initially sign up to being a ‘bride’ and had absolutely no idea of how I wanted our day to look.
When the initial excitement of the engagement was over and it was time to start planning I found the whole experience completely overwhelming. Where on earth did we start? How much should we be paying for things? Would people mind traveling to the Cotswolds? Will we offend people by not inviting children? What food do we have? What band will people enjoy…? More than anything I knew that I had found the right man, of that I was certain. But everything else was just an assault on my senses. Thankfully we had a long engagement, and as a person who needs time to make big decisions this was perfect for my brain. I just couldn’t see how this day was going to come together and how we were going to remember every little detail. I felt sure I was going to forget something (knowing me probably my dress) and had lists upon lists that I was reviewing daily in the final weeks.
Then as milestones such as rolling over into 2017 and being able to say ‘we get married this year’ and then counting down in 4 months and then 3, I started to think more and more about how I would feel on the day. My biggest fear more than anything else was that I was going to be overly emotional. Not the composed bride who has a glistening tear running down her cheek, I would most likely be the one uncontrollably crying her mascara down her face onto her dress. As a surprise to our guests we had a gospel choir sing me and my 5 bridesmaids down the aisle, this had always been a bit of a bucket list thing for me and bizarrely the only one thing I knew that I wanted on our day. The problem then being that every time I watched or listened to them I found myself in floods of tears. Even at our rehearsal when they started singing Songbird, the song I was going to walk down the aisle to, and I was reaching for the tissues and apologising for being such a mess. How on earth was I going to be on the day?!
However, with focusing on my worries I was focusing on the negatives, and so was quite taken by surprise as my worries started to be overridden with excitement. As the hen and stag do’s took place and the weeks went by and the day got closer the well wishes and messages that we received were nothing short of heart-warming. These were from old neighbours, old school friends, guests coming to the wedding and family, all of which were absolute confirmation that those people surrounding us were the very best we could hope for. Our amazing parents who were so supportive and helpful, our siblings whom we both adore so much, my bridesmaids who looked after me literally every step of the way, the groomsmen who got Ewan there in one piece with a proper send off, our pastor Kim who was so warm and the absolute best person to marry us, our suppliers who were so friendly and helpful…we were just so lucky. I expected to feel anxious and nervous on the run up to the day but just felt so happy and loved. Yes of course I still felt underlying nerves and worried if I could keep my emotions intact (and not trip over my dress) but the overwhelming feeling was that of excitement.
So how was I on the day? The answer…absolutely fine. I remember standing at the bottom of the aisle hearing the tones of Songbird fill the air and I just felt so happy that I could burst. Even writing this now it’s making me well up thinking back to that moment arm in arm with my dad, but at the time I felt so calm. Some brides say that walking down the aisle was a complete blur to them but I remember every step that me and my dad took. I remember all of the smiling faces looking back at me, and above all else I remember the look on my husband to be’s face looking back at me and just how happy he looked. We had made it, it had all come together and we were about to become husband and wife.
The service itself beforehand felt like the part of the day that I almost just needed to get through, but on the day I found it to be the most incredible experience and that Ewan and I were just in a bubble. A chattering, grinning from ear to ear, love filled bubble. We were like school kids. We were giddy. I remember every word of my vows and how proud I felt saying them to Ewan. He was finally going to be my husband, and when Kim our Vicar announced us as man and wife I felt what I can only describe as a surge go through me. I realise how incredible cheesy this sounds but it was just so real. We were husband and wife. Officially. Forever.
For me the love at our wedding spread far beyond that of me and Ewan. It was in the plane miles that some of our guests travelled so that they can be there with us, it was in the hours of organisation from our bridesmaids and groomsmen, the friends that offered to help up on the morning without question, it was in the thoughtful words in cards that we opened the next day and will keep forever, the gifts from our friends who we know shouldn’t have, the words and hugs shared on the day, the shapes thrown on the dance floor in the evening and those knowing looks from those people that we’ve been through so much with who know just how happy we are.
It’s like no other experience I’ve ever had in my life. Weddings sometimes unfortunately become about money and obtaining perfection, the latter of which I will admit at points I became guilty in trying to achieve. However, having now experienced our own wedding I will remember it for the vows that I said to my husband, promising to love and protect him always, in front of the family and friends I love most in the world.
Thank you to all of the people who were involved in making our day what it was.
All my love, Mrs W xxx